Blog Time !!

This is my 2nd blog and I would like to thank Skate Ontario for giving me this opportunity.  Last time I did not introduce myself because, well, I was hoping the opening joke was a bit funnier that way.

Here goes my attempt at an introduction:

Hi!

I’m what’s left of Kurt Browning after quite a bit of mileage.  I am a professional figure skater and have been so for around a quarter century.  Skating in front of an audience is what I love to do, and I have been doing that for, oh my gosh, almost a half century.  Sheesh… when did I get old enough to keep track of time in centuries?  Anyway, I have been around long enough to have had quite a few things happen to me out there on the ice. Things like sticking my toe ‘through’ the ice, snapping my blade ‘on’ the ice and bouncing my head ‘off’ the ice.

‘Through’ happened in Japan.

You see, a whole team of workers had put about a million miles of tubes down over the swimming pool to create an ice surface for our show.  Kind of a miracle really, until I came along. You see, we were all having real trouble with the thickness of the ice. Too thin!  Before I risked injury, I thought I would test the ice first, so I went to the edge and jabbed my toe in.  No harm done, but it wasn’t a true test. To be sure my triple take off wasn’t going to go through I needed to simulate a real jump take off… so I gave it a little juice.  Well, I hit oil, or glycol, or whatever it was flowing through that network of pipes. It was now spraying everywhere! That fountain was spreading green goo almost as fast as the rumour spreading that I had kicked the ice in anger. I wasn’t angry, I was stupid. Straight away, the ice was covered with that team of workers.  It was like I had kicked an icy ant hill and they took care of my little jabbing incident.  It literally looked like surgery.  I was always much more careful after that.

‘On’ happened in Ontario.

I am pretty sure about the where we were when the blade snapped but it is the when that eludes me. Might have been a few shows called the World Team Tour back in the mid ‘80s. The details do not matter as much as the memory of Mike Slipchuk and I given the daunting task of doing side by side by side double axels with Brian Orser. This was the man who tamed the triple axel for the rest of us mortals. To say that we were intimidated would have been an understatement but Brian put us at ease. What a thrill!  It was also the first time we had been in a locker room with such big personalities. Rod Garossino and his big belly laugh was a good laugh track to the banter between Brian Orser and Rob McCall. They gave each other such a hard time it took me a few days to realize that they were actually the very very best of friends. Rob was a huge presence everywhere he went, and I loved hearing his wide-mouth frog joke. The Best!  Back to the broken blade. Just like the glycol incident, I was on warmup for the show, and threw a triple axel—and then threw my face down to the ice.  You see, when a blade snaps in half on a landing of a jump, the bottom of the boot flexes like a normal walking boot or shoe and your foot flies out behind you and down on your face you go. Shocked, but uninjured, I knew I needed a blade for the show.  The local coach came to the rescue and loaned me his blade right off his skate. That was a very nice thing to do; but what wasn’t so nice was the shape the blade was in. His blades having been unsharpened for who knows how long would not have been that bad, but he also never wore guards and walked all around the arena. In fact, I wouldn’t doubt that he accidentally wore them home a few times. Yah, a butter knife would have had more grip.  How did he skate on those things? The side by side by side axels were extra spooky that night. I learned how to 2 foot my landings for that show.

    ‘Off’ happened in Japan… again.

This time my fall hurt a little more. No broken blade or bones but definitely a broken ego. Being a newly-minted world champion was fun, but I soon learned that skating like a world champion was not as much fun—at least not that first year. I think the ‘89/‘90 season was the first time in my skating career that I was uncomfortable in front of an audience. When I saw Brian Orser compete or perform or even practice, he seemed pretty much perfect. Boitano, too! To be a world champion meant not making mistakes. To be me meant making mistakes all the time. The two theories clashed, and I just wasn’t feeling like myself. To add to my confidence issues, my back pain problems were acting up. I ended up flying all the way to Japan to fall twice in the short program at NHK. It was the second fall when I hit my head on the ice—and I still had another jump to go. After those two falls, one of them mind-altering, I skated down the ice and actually landed the triple flip. I guess the skate gods finally took pity on me. So, what happens when the reigning world champion flops and falls all over the place? A whole lot of nothing it seems. I don’t remember the interviews, chatting with teammates or the inevitable ‘talk’ with my coach. I am sure all those things happened but selective memory steps in sometimes. What I do remember is sitting all alone afterwards staring out at the ice. I saw Victor Petrenko, who was in 1st place, and his coach Galina. They seemed to be walking to my side of the arena, the empty lonely side where they stash loser kids with headaches. They kept getting closer, closer… c l o s e r !   There was still a chance they would walk by me… nope, they sat down on either side of me!  I was surrounded.  Now, I hardly knew Victor really, and I certainly did not know Galina but after the next 30 seconds I felt like I had known her for a good long time.

Because you are not listening to this story in person, you will be spared from hearing my Russian accent.

Galina: “What wrong?”

Kurt: “What wrong?  Well, in case you missed it, I fell twice and smacked my head on the ice in the process. That is what is wrong!”

(seems I could be a bit of a smart ass at times)

Victor: “ _______”

Galina: “Look, you are not you.  When you are you, you’re good.  When you are not you, you are not good. So be you. O.K. Good!”

Kurt: “ ________”

Victor: “ ________”

She may have patted me on the shoulder but, honestly, I am not sure. Heck, this whole thing might be a dream I had that has become a part of my reality over time. ‘Never let the truth stand between you and a good story,’ right? Anyway, Galina slipped away, and Victor got up and gave me an awkward little smile, not too sure this talk was his idea, and they were gone. Who would think that your biggest competitor and his coach would be the ones to know what to say when nobody else could find the words. Actually, the bigger question should be, why would they even try? I have tried to follow the advice ever since. Be Yourself! Thank you, Galina and Victor—real or in my imagination—that was a very kind and generous moment.

So, what have we learned via blog today?

Do not kick ‘through’ the ice in anger or even in a scientific skating experiment.

Do borrow an unsharpened blade to get ‘on’ with the show and get ‘off’ your high horse and keep your mind open because you never know who you might learn something from.

The End ( ish )

One more tidbit…

My topic changed as I wrote this. I was going to talk about a question a skater asked me during a zooming chat. She asked if I had ever forgotten my solo while skating. Well, I certainly have, and they are good stories but like those forgetful moments, I got distracted and ended up writing this instead. Those moments when I blanked out and forgot my solo will just have to wait for another day, if I remember to get around to it.  😉